YSunday, August 05, 2007
i really feel like dying.
i walked out, i really did.
its e best for everyone. no one will suffer anymore because of me.
my parents may be saddened for now.
but itll all be over real soon. really really soon.
they have my sister and im happy for her, she can grow up in a good environment now.
with loving parents and no bad example for her to follow.
im so bloody sick.
had fever last night, bad flu n cough.
now its better but e bloody cough's still thr.
and e bloody fucking stress's still thr.
no one can help me. gotta go fucking work.
earn 7k to go for my hairdressing course.
its so bloody NOT cheap. fuck.
but i really wanna become a succesful hairdresser.
a senior top stylist.
but hw am i to do tt? ive messed up my life and everyone elses.
i should just die. but i cant. it would make things worse.
i love my bf so much.
he took care of me a whole night last night.
i slept until 3 in e afternoon. now its 1140pm in e night and he's sleeping
he must be so dead tired.
i love him so much, but how can i be sure how long we would last?
idk. my mind's in a whirl now. e temptation to commit suicide is so strong.
but everytime i think of those who i love.
i cant bear to leave them. tell me wtf can i do? fuck.
imma go rest now.
feeling sick to the bone's.
i gotta stop screwing everyone arnd me up.
gotta stop.
i thought love was only found in fairytales. told you a secret at