YSaturday, September 29, 2007
went to star's birthday party today!
it was great! =))
lotsa ppl were thr mann.
caroline, lydia, choi, sau, lynn, anne marie, joanne, si wing, maddy, elis, nicolette, jocelyn, cathy, sam, alethea, and lots la. their church friends too.
had a lot of fun. a lot of memories of me n star came bck too.
it made me realise smth..
ive really changed, im not the olivia ppl knew alr.
sigh. idk. its like today, i was e only one tt smoked, pierced.
i feel so , outcasted. y'knw?
its like, my friends were all thr.
my friends who i didn't chose and chose e bad company instead.
causing me to fall like tt.
as in, yea. like fall, academically, emotionally and alls.
i wasnt like tt. i realised it so bad, and i cried.
i teared. i just went blank with so many thoughts racing through my head.
these are e ppl who really knw wad friendship is.
annabelle, my pri sch best friend, till sec one.
and ive lost her. i miss those days when we were so close.
now she has her own clique and everyone's enjoying their life.
why am i always e outcast? why?
amd i really tt low class? cursing, swearing, smoking.
i feel like im degrading myself.
i just feel like i have so much to tell annabelle.
we were once great friends.
yes, she chose another friend over me, but tt was also cause i chose to go with another grp.
the grp who thought me to play truancy, hang out late..
i guess tt really ruined my life.
i always tell myself. whatever i do, i wun regret it.
but now, THIS is e only thing tt i regret in my life.
ive lost my best friend.
i have another best friend who ive made in sec sch.
but ive lost her too. everything's diff now.
everyone, olivia's gonna start anew.
yea. ill still be crazy and all. but ill just be me.
i wun be so confused anymore.
ill take some time out to really knw wad i want.
thr are so much more meaningful things to do out thr in life.
why not take this chance to do it?
why fall deeper n deeper when thr are so many ppl arnd who wanna help?
they have their own lives too, they cant possibly be spending every min caring for u right?
their ppl who have their own lives to live too.
idk, im just real confused.
im just gonna pursue my goals and go for wad i really want.
i might be taking a diff route frm others.
but, im gonna be myself. and my friends will naturally come. =)
my great friends.
happiness can only be found within yourself.
i thought love was only found in fairytales. told you a secret at