YTuesday, January 29, 2008
I AM SO FUCKING FAT.
I AM SO FUCKING FAT.
I AM SO FUCKING FAT.
I AM SO FUCKING FAT.
I AM SO FUCKING FAT.
I AM SO FUCKING FAT.
I AM SO FUCKING FAT.
I AM SO FUCKING FAT.
I AM SO FUCKING FAT.
I AM SO FUCKING FAT.
i am damn sick and i haven been answering phone calls. im sry.
i just wanna be alone. why cant everyone leave me alone?
as in like, i wanna stay away frm u guys n now ur taking a same path as me?
hello. its annoying. so stop asking me as if i dun have e smarts to go in.
i passed all my n levels okay.
yes, i am proud of myself. i didnt even study and i can get 7 points.
i didnt lay a finger on any book at all.
so i chose this route, cause e bloody fucking sch wun accept me bck.
so dun look at me and talk to me like im stupid. cause i CAN go in.
i CAN get in with ALL GCE N level passes.
so just shut up n leave me alone.
jojo went to e sick bay in sch today.
her teacher told her tt he and a few other teacher's have been reading her blog n found out abt her E.D (eating disorder).
they called her parents n also told them tt she has another sister with an ed.
wtf, now they wanna send her to counselling n refer her to a doc.
i talked to jess n i said idk wad to do.
cause i have e same prob as her.
we'll eat as lil as possible.
and everytime i eat, i feel disgusted.
but i dun wanna puke it out all e time cause itll disfigure my teeth n all.
idk. i wanna help her but i cant even help myself.
and yes, the reason i wanna MIA is because i feel tt i am so FAT.
i just cant stand looking at myself.
everyone says, "olivia ur so thin alr".
okay, fine. im skinny. but to me im not skinny ENOUGH.
thr's still a whole pile of fats on me.
my tummy, thighs, arms. everywhr.
tt day at daryl's party.
i told sama i was fat. and she pinched my stomach n laughed at me.
she said it was cute. i laughed it off.
but inside i felt like shit. i went hme to purge it all out.
it was so sick. i dun blame her cause its true.
its totally true.
now i am so sick, flu, fever, cough.
and im eating e least i can cause i wanna lose weight.
this a a great opportunity for me to lose weight and im making full use of it.
food intake today:
-banana n peanut butter smoothie (1/2 cup)
-3 dumplings
-porridge
-bread
healthy smoothie's are e best.
they keep u fucking full.
i thought love was only found in fairytales. told you a secret at