YSaturday, February 02, 2008
hello alls.
went to meet gf n mickey aft her work today.
went to wisma cause e girls wanted to get new yr clothes.
apparently mickey still hasnt got wad she wanted. haha.
aft tt headed dwn to sq 2 at novena to get my kimchi n rice! wooooo.
(kimchi dosen make u fat cause its all veggies n its spicy!)
walked arnd n all. den jess came to meet us!
we went to smoke n chat at some stairway outside.
talked abt a lot of stuff. totally cool.
den we all went bck. im so exhausted.
i dont even have e strength to go out n im always feeling like fainting.
my body is seriously deteriorating.
and i found out frm gf tt a lot of ppl read my blog?!
-shocks- ohh well. HELLO PEEPS WHO READ MY BLOG.
and pls tag laaaa. hahah. =)
random thought of th day:
I WISH I COULD LIVE WITH MY COUSINS. A WORLD WITHOUT HYPOCRISY AND BACKSTABBING. AND ONLY NOTHING BUT TH TRUTH. IM SICK OF TH WORLD. ITS SO JUDGEMENTAL. MY SOURCE OF SUPPORT, INSPIRATION, TH WILL TO CARRY ON AND TH DETERMINATION TO STAY STRONG IS LOVE. AND LOVE IS, MY COUSINS. NOT JUST PPL TO FALL BACK ON OR CONFIDE IN, BUT PPL WHOM I CAN SHARE MY HAPPINESS AND ALL MY UPS N DOWNS. PPL WHOM I CAN BE TRUTHFUL N HONEST WITH, PPL WHOM I CARE FOR N NOT WORRY ABT BEING BACKSTABBED OR ANYTHING LIKE TT, PPL WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.
yupp, was thinking abt it in e bus on e way back. im always so happy with ppl whom i love n care abt. i really appreciate them.
to you: dear girl, i understand wad u are gg through cause ive also been through tt staged before.
its alright to feel really dwn n out sometimes. it happens to everyone at certain points of their lives. because i care n really truthfully care, th truth is always better. =) and u knw im nt e sort tt lies abt stuff like tt. i really want you to knw so tt u can become a better person, like how im always trying to improve myself when u guys tell me stuff. =) sometimes its true, u get very defensive quickly. u gotta learn to chill babe. sometimes when ppl tell u stuff, just think abt it before answering. sometimes u go like, 'what' or like, 'its not like tt wad! NOOO!'. yea, sometimes u react to greatly. just calm dwn! chill. its no good to be agitated all e time. ive been through tt n i realise i piss a lot of ppl arnd me. but no one blames u for being like tt. sometimes its just things tt happen in ur life tt makes u so defensive n agitated quickly. its alright, but sometimes, just think abt it before u reply. =) it wun hurt to do so. rmb last time how we tell each other like, 'ey tell me anything to change me into a better person , or tell me if i have attitude prob kay?'' and yea, we did tell each other. i just wanna let you knw because i can see tt ur always so angry. and off course i dun wan u too. =) it takes time. well, its still up to you to choose to take this advice or not. but no matter who u are or what u do. I STILL LOVE YOU ALL TH SAME. =) because u are my flesh n blood. love you girly! peace. XOXO.
to my friend: i nvr told ppl to post comment abt us? huh? i didnt get tt. and yea, i didnt go round telling e whole world. i only told one person. and im nt trying to gain sympathy. if i called u would u answer? even now when i text you u take ten yrs to reply. and okay, i didnt knw u wanted to take a cab dwn. so now i knw and im thnkful. really. and when i had tt partner, i did not use u guys as a substitute. i told u all n i rmb very clearly. i said tt i would still hangout with u guys. because he ends work in e evening n all. but u guys were th ones who started hanging out tgt w/o me. and everytime i called, u were tgt. and obviously i cant self-invite myself right? and i did not say tt u NEVER cared for me. i never said tt. i said tt u USED to care for me so much, but idk wad happened now. even before sch, u alr started to move away. i asked u before isit because of my partner tts why u guys started treating me diff. u said no, but aft tt u said yes, and we talked abt it. and everything was fine wasnt it? and hwre you even gonna see tt i wanna be stronger? ur nt even with me. i knw u brought food to my place when i was sick. i appreciate tt. i express it n i was really touched. you were ALWAYS thr for me no matter wad. and now because of this u found another grp of frens. if u couldnt stand wad i was doing why didnt u tell me? i dun write on my blog to gain sympathy or whatsoever n u should knw me by now tt im nt e kind who bitches on my blog. and have i nt tried telling u? ive told u so many times tt i feel like we're drifting n all. and u always dun wanna talk abt it. and now ur blaming me for nt calling or asking you to solve matters? ask yourself, ive sent u random msgs a many times to ask you abt it. but do u care? no. and nw ur saying tt i can just call u and talk to you abt it? why would i do tt when u dun even respond to my msgs. and no. ive never blamed you. who said i wanna blame you? i have tried countless times to approach you but ur always ignoring it. if u think tt u couldnt stand me, why didnt u tell me? yes weve been through a lot. uve been thr for me all e time. and i knw tt. haven i been thr for u too? wasnt i th first person who was thr for u when u cried for e FIRST time on e phone? and fyi, i cried too. wasnt it e first time when me , u, jov n connie were at ur block with kira. do u knw how i felt when i saw u cry? i teared, why? because i knw wad ur gg through. u should knw wad ive been through too. when ppl said tt im a bad influence, u told me. no, just ignore wad they said. do u knw i was very touched when u said tt? ok, i knw tt i have an attitude prob n i show face when im nt happy. tell me! why didnt u tell me! look, im sry if i spoiled ur day. uve spoiled mine too. so fair? alright, i shall call u up one day. and we shall talk things out peacefully. i dun wanna end this friendship like tt. it means too much to me. once agn, im sry. im sry for all e disappoinment ive caused in you. IM SORRY. cant we just talk it out?
food intake today! :
-2 scoops of rice with meat n veggie
-1 bottle pomegranate juice
-100gm cookies
-kimchi with 1/3 bowl of rice.
dang, shit. tts damn a lot. fuck fuck fuck. i need thinspiration!
i thought love was only found in fairytales. told you a secret at